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...that can survive my wicked sting

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O95. [06 Mar 2016|09:17pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]
[ music | Ellie Goulding - Lights ]

A lot has happened. And I do mean a lot of bad things. On February 24th I took my nursing exam. It wasn't so bad but I am afraid that I may fail it, since I'm a failure at life anyways. I'll have to wait until April to find out my results. I also haven't been able to get a job yet which is highly frustrating. This just isn't helping at all.

A few days ago I found out that someone used my bank account and paid for a hotel reservation in Paris. They stole $517.21 from my money and the bank is acting very slowly to fix this situation. They had denied the transaction on February 23rd but then let it pass the second time they tried to pay. What the hell? I want to know why they didn't call me. And I want to know who authorized said transaction because it wasn't me. I am stressed out, angry, upset, anxious and I want my money back. I am broke. I don't have a job. That was my only sustenance right now. I'm just so close to giving up and ending my stupid, pathetic, miserable life.

Anyways, pushing that aside...last week I began a relationship with a girl who's been my friend for quite some time already. She lives in Arizona though but that doesn't matter because I'm okay with long distance relationships as long as there is trust and communication with both parties. However, we're lacking communication and haven't really spoken for some days. I am not a needy person but I hate when I write to someone and they don't answer back. But I shouldn't expect much because I never have much luck with these types of things,

What else has happened? I ended my friendship with Julia (Lucy). That was just the most toxic person I have ever been friends with. She's just someone who is insensitive and doesn't really care about others. Which is kind of messed up. People like that don't have the right to complain when others refuse to be their friends.

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O94. [29 Jan 2016|08:13pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]
[ music | Anitta - Bang ]

I'm just stressed out and worried about my nursing exam on February 24. I haven't studied much although I've had more than enough time to. That's my fault. I wouldn't be surprised if I fail especially since I am not good at math and there will be dosification problems to solve. We can't use calculators. Just pencil and paper. I should be relaxing but instead I've been worrying myself so much. I've also been frustrated since I haven't found a job. It sucks because I want to help my father with things in the house and buy myself things. But nothing. I think it's unfair how people like a certain person I know, gets a job just because their parents know the director of a location. Meanwhile I have to kill myself and depend on my resume which doesn't have much of a job experience only clinical practice. It doesn't help either that this island is shit and there's practically no jobs here.

Anyways, yesterday was a crappy day. My friend Julia bashed me publicly on social media just because I tend to vent to her when I don't feel well emotionally. Isn't that what friends do? They support one another in times of need. I've known this girl for months now and even had a crush on her. I shouldn't talk to her anymore but I'm such a forgiving person. We did fix things though. We talked it through and I gave her a piece of my mind. I explained to her that she shouldn't treat people so badly especially those who are nice to her. I hope she sticks to her words of being a better person and friend.

Today was a pretty good day. I went out with dad and visited a farmer's market. It was very crowded and unorganized, so we left and went to the CDT so that I could get my influenza vaccine shot. We had to wait like an hour because the nurse went on break and then the people at the front desk took forever to fill out my information. We got out pretty quickly though and I also have my vaccination history updated online (?) along with an official copy which I will need when I get a job. After that we returned to the farmer's market. This time everyone had left and we were able to get a few things: corn, peppers, lettuce, bananas, watermelon, and onions. It was pretty cool and it's fresh food. I just wish they would bring a better variety of fruits instead of melons and oranges.

I'll probably draw something now or watch some anime series I never did finish. I don't know, I'm not a fan of series and I am horrible at keeping up with them anyways.

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O93. [06 Jan 2016|05:00pm]
[ mood | working ]

I finally received my hair extensions a few days after Christmas. They're very beautiful and are an amazing quality to be synthetic hair. They're also very long measuring 26" inches. I went over to Naty's house yesterday and she tried them on. They were perfect so she washed my hair and straightened it out then clipped the extensions in. They are 3/4" panels and I got two (what she told me to get). I noticed they are very heavy though so I may have to try to see if one panel is enough for my head since these are very thick extensions and my hair is short anyway. So I'll try to put one panel on tomorrow since I don't feel like messing around with them today. If one is enough that would be great because I can just throw it on and not worry about the weight. I just have to practice how to get them on correctly so they don't look fake and fall out. I also received my Sherlock Holmes books from Amazon and they're amazing. I can't wait to finally get lost in them since I'd first have to finish the other Sherlock Holmes book I'm reading.

On Friday or Saturday I may go visit my friend Allison (if she doesn't decide to drive up here that is). I want to keep playing Tomb Raider: The Tomb of Osiris on her PS4! It's just an awesome game with great graphics. To be honest, I can't wait to get a job so I can afford a PS4 just to play that game and Mortal Kombat X with her. She may be leaving soon to Florida which is kind of sad. Who knows...maybe after I get a job and work for 2 years (you need 2 years experience to work in Florida with the license from Puerto Rico) I can go live with her over there since this island is not doing very well anymore. I just don't see a future here since the government is completely destroying this island.

I have already fixed my resume and added new things to it. I just have to get it printed out and it's back to giving them out again. I hope I find a job and if it's not at the hospital that would be great for me. I just don't like the hospital, it's not for me. Sure you make more money but what's the point of making a ton of money and being miserable? I want to be happy and comfortable doing what I love to do. And I don't feel like working at a hospital will satisfy this need. I know it's good experience but I just don't even want to think about working at one. I will be happy working at a nursing home, even if I have to work at two different ones. Or work at a nursing home and a doctor's office or something.

Well nothing else has really happened. Next week I would need to call my new ob-gyn for an appointment and get my medical record from my former doctor. I also need to call my student loan company and make sure everything is okay with the application I sent in. I'm also going to try to get to some office I have to go to in San Juan to pay something there for my provisional license. I'll go with my friend so she shows me around and how to get to these places because next month I have to go take my nursing exam over there...which I haven't really studied much for. Tonight I'll do some of that...it's just so boring to read this crap.

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O92. [30 Dec 2015|06:24pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]
[ music | The Weeknd - In The Night ]

Well, the hair extensions that I purchased on eBay still haven't arrived. The last update for the tracking was on the 26th saying that it departed Flushing, New York. I'm worried because I have lost packages before from that area. They scan it that it departed the post office and the package magically disappears (aka stolen). So I'm hoping they get here safely because I really wanted to use them tomorrow for New Years Eve. But I always have the worst luck of course. Fingers crossed that they show up and I can mess around with them.

Other than that I haven't done much. I studied a little today for my nursing exam in February. I'll probably study some more later tonight. I don't know if I want to exercise tonight. I did work out for an hour yesterday so I think I'll take a break today and work out tomorrow. I'll just keep working on my friends YouTube videos (I am his channel manager). I could also play some game as well. I haven't played games in a long time. I don't know, just haven't been in the mood and my PC hasn't really been working because the person who changed the motherboard got the wrong one and my laptop doesn't function properly with an Nvidia graphics card. I am so mad at him and I would demand him to buy me the proper one but he left to the States. I hope to find a job soon so that I could buy a new PC. This time I will get a desktop. I'll probably get it made since I want it for gaming.

On a random note I have been thinking these past few days about who I really am. As in sexuality and stuff. I figured that I was panromantic and genderfluid. But instead of being panromantic/demisexual I am satisfied with saying that I am actually panromantic/asexual/genderfluid. I actually think of myself as more of a boy than girl as well. But to be honest I see myself as genderless most of the time. This was pointless by the way.

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O91. [29 Dec 2015|12:46am]
[ mood | indescribable ]
[ music | Darling Violetta - A Smaller God ]

I feel so empty and blank today. There's so many things to do yet I'm sitting here at my desk doing nothing. Sometimes I just want to curl into a ball and cry myself until I pass out. I guess it's like something missing in my life but I don't know what it is. I want to do so many things but not having a job holds me back. I want to help my father with the house and stuff but I don't have the money. Finding a job here is not as easy as people may think. I thought I would have better luck being a nurse but not happening. If I could also stay away from the hospital I would. My dad doesn't understand that but I would feel miserable working at the hospital. I just don't like it. I would like to take care of the elderly and actually interact with them. Not just go into the room, give out medications and stuff like that. The hospital to me is boring. Dad tells me that I would make the most money there but what's the point of making a ton of money if I am not happy with what I am doing? I am tired of being confused with my life. I feel like I am going nowhere no matter how much I try to do.

I also feel like I have lost many of my friends. I've met many people online through instagram but some of them just stopped speaking to me. I know when someone is avoiding me and it hurts especially when they stay quiet about it. Sometimes they blame me for doing something wrong when I don't even know what it is. I dislike people who do that but it's whatever already. It does hurt however. I tend to get attached to people so it's hard for me to move on. And the people who do remain friends start becoming distant towards me and it's sad. I had friends that used to talk to me daily and than they just stop suddenly. This is why I'm afraid to socialize. I think people see me as weird and stay away from me. I miss most of those people to be honest.

I'm not sure what to do or even think at the moment. I'm trying very hard to not fall back down and think negative, but that's proving difficult.

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O9O. [26 Dec 2015|12:05am]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | Halsey - Haunting ]

I keep forgetting to update my blog. I used to update it constantly, almost daily. But I haven't really felt inspired to sit down and write what has been happening. Perhaps I should since it's my only way to vent. I don't really have people to talk to and I'd hate to burden my friends with my problems. I would feel guilty if I would put them through that. But for me it's best to write what I am feeling than to keep it inside. When I keep my emotions locked up my depression starts to creep under my skin until it's full-blown and unstoppable. To me it's a very hard time to try to control my emotions again. To get my mind straight and to try to think positive when all you can do is hate yourself and the way you look and feel. The mind is a very powerful thing. It's amazing the damage that it can cause a person.

The holidays have been well. Of course I've had some ups and downs these past months. At the end of October I was called to work at a nursing home but after 3 days of training the employer told me she didn't need anymore people for now. So I was super bummed from that because I was happy I finally had a little job where I could get some money and help around the house. That woman crushed my hopes and because of her my depression drop kicked me in the face. Hopefully I can find a job soon. I don't care where to be honest. But if I can stay away from working in a hospital I would. It never appealed to me for some reason. I dislike hospitals. I would rather work in a nursing home and be a companion to the elderly who have nobody to care for them and are lonely. I am praying to find a job. It frustrates me not being able to help my father with the bills, with groceries, with car issues, among other things. It makes me cry every night because I just can't find anything on this damned island. Sometimes I would love to leave to the States and find a better opportunity. However, I don't want to leave my father alone because I know how my family is and I know he would be so sad and alone.

For Thanksgiving we had a decent time. My family didn't come over at all, which is nothing new honestly. For Christmas only one of my aunts came over with her friend. My other aunt supposedly had to work but I don't really know. I got a few things for Christmas from dad and my aunt. Dad got me a kit with 3 Britney Spears perfumes (Fantasy, Midnight Fantasy and Curious), a Caress body wash kit, an eye shadow palette, a set of lip glosses, and a set of 6 different body lotions. My aunt gave me $20 (which I used to buy hair extensions) and a dream-catcher (I have always wanted one). I got dad new work boots and two pictures he wanted. My aunt got a cute little jewelry box that looks like a book and some owl plushies I had made a while ago. I got her friend a jewelry box as well. I also got my best friend Naty a jewelry box, a nail kit and some hair scrunchies and my other friend I sent her a drawing of her favorite anime character, a homemade Christmas card and some stationary sets. However, on December 25 (today) I was not able to go visit mom's grave (it would be her 62nd birthday) because the power went out and we couldn't leave the house unattended like this. I hope to stop by tomorrow and leave some flowers. Words cannot describe how much I miss my dear mother but I know she's in a better place right now with no pain and suffering.

I don't know what else to write about. I am constantly on Instagram now managing a fan-page account for my favorite Tokyo Ghoul character Uta. I have met many people on there, some whom I consider friends. I really wish I could meet them one day but of course they're a lot younger than me (as most people usually are, I feel old). But it's nice to get to speak to people because in all honesty I just don't have many friends here...I only consider two people close to me as my best friends. The rest of them are never really there and hardly talk to me. But that's okay. I know who my real friends are. Anyways, I'll start organizing my book list now. I'm not sure if I want to type it or write it by hand. It would be easier by computer but I don't have a printer at the moment so I suppose by hand it would be best. This is going to take a while. I read way too much and have read so many books. I'm currently reading a Sherlock Holmes book and actually bought the whole series from Amazon these past few days. Can't wait to dive into them. I would have to thank the modern Sherlock Holmes movies (with Robert Downey Jr.) for getting me into the series. I think there is an old TV series on him? I would have to check on either Prime or Hulu. But as always I would rather read than watch television anyways...which is why I haven't finished any of the anime series I have started months ago.

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O89. [29 Oct 2015|10:56pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | In This Moment - Sexual Hallucination ]

I am horrible at keeping a blog. I've just been into drawing again and well, it has consumed my time. Also, I just haven't been motivated to write much. I've stayed away from social media and stuff, I've also removed a lot of negative people from my life. People who claimed to be friends when they were just bringing me down.

Anyways, yesterday was a miserable day. I woke up at 6 in the morning to get to Rio Piedras and pay $60 bucks to reserve my seat for the Nursing license exam. After that, they told me I could pick up my provisional license from the building right across the street. That was great. I could get everything done on the same day, right? Well, it was pouring as hell. I got soaking wet getting to the other building and it was freezing (yes, I am now ill). But still, I got my papers. Well when I called the guy that took me there (a taxi service) he had left. Yeah. He was supposed to return to my city at 1 PM, but he left early because of the rain (which was bullshit).

I was stranded there from 11 am to 5 pm waiting for the next taxi. I didn't eat anything except breakfast at 7 am. I was sick, tired, and angry. There was no place to eat. No way to get home quicker. So at 4 pm the taxi picked me up and we went on our way back. We got caught in a horrible traffic jam for an hour. I got home at around 8 pm with a migraine headache and a spasm throughout my shoulders and neck. I went with dad to McDonald's and got some food. Which was useless because I couldn't keep it down. I was throwing up all night and my head was throbbing horribly. I didn't even shower...yeah.

So I woke up at 3 am, still with a migraine and feeling like hell. I took another Imitrex and went back to bed. I woke up better but then the hospital called and told me I had to go back and repeat an ultrasound exam I had gotten last week because the idiot sonographist made a grave error and failed to realize that I don't have a right ovary and only have half of my left one.

When I got there and talked to her, she called into the room and dared to lecture me on how I have to tell them I had surgery. I did tell her that day I got the test done. She just didn't listen to me because she was too busy bitching about what a long day she was having at work with a student. Real sweet person, not.

I'm sure she's going to mess up my test again because supposedly she couldn't find my left ovary (which she insinuated that I was lying about having it and basically said I had no idea what had been done to me during surgery). She is a bitch. An aggravated, miserable, dog-faced bitch. If you don't like your job than maybe you should quit. You don't treat patients that way. Really uncomfortable moment today because of her attitude and I will file a complaint about her. I am never going there again. And I hope she doesn't screw up my results again (but I am sure she will).

I'm still tired and exhausted. My body feels destroyed and I have a slight headache. I feel like drawing but my body is telling me to sleep and leave it for tomorrow. Maybe I will.

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O88. [04 Oct 2015|01:02am]
I'm horrible at keeping a journal lately. I've just been lacking the motivation to do much anymore and it's been holding me back on a lot of stuff. I'm trying my best to get so many things done and yet I've ignored the important ones such as trying to find a job (and yet I complain of not having money, maybe I should move my ass). I guess, no I'm sure, that I'm scared of being a failure. Of not being a good nurse. I really need to start thinking more positive and also work on controlling my anxiety. It's been pretty bad lately and I'm not sure if I should handle it myself or just go to a therapist. Maybe the best option is the therapist. I just don't want to go back to how it was before. I've been doing fine, I don't need to mess up again.

I've been keeping occupied with reading, drawing, watching animes, talking to people online. But it's still there. The feeling of being alone, unwanted, useless. All of my so-called friends have vanished. A few days ago I deleted a bunch of them from facebook. It's whatever now. If they cared so much they would be here and talk to me. Obviously they don't, so goodbye. Only one of them talks to me and she lives kind of far. I'm hoping that when I find a job and make some cash, I can finally go meet her in person. She's the one who's always been there for me and I appreciate it.

I've also been using instagram a lot and interacting with others there. I mainly keep an account dedicated to Uta of Tokyo Ghoul but I have a personal account which I started over new. It's good to start fresh sometimes especially when past memories were shitty.

Anyways, time for bed.
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O87. [21 Sep 2015|10:26pm]
I haven't updated here in forever. Mostly because I haven't really been on the laptop and honestly, I haven't had the desire to do much. It's that time again. When I lose interest in everything and let every single thing hurt me. Sometimes I wish I was a rock so I wouldn't have to feel anything. On a side note, I have started to draw again which is great because I haven't picked up a pencil in years. It feels nice to be able to sit and draw stupid little things. I am practicing on shading and coloring though. I suck at those so hopefully I will improve and get better.

Today I cleaned my office area. The dust was horrible. This is why I hate living near the road and a mountain. The dirt can get horrible no matter how much you clean. Tomorrow I'll finish cleaning my bedroom and exercise since I skipped today so I could focus on cleaning and organizing. I've noticed I've been slacking when it comes to working out. So this week I will definitely work on that as well. I don't want to become lazy again and stop the progress I have made. Which has been a lot. Yesterday I couldn't do them because I was sick with a migraine for two days and throwing up a lot. Not sure what triggered it but it was possibly the ketchup. So no more ketchup for me.

I'll go shower now and draw something. Or maybe I'll watch Jurassic World instead since I never got the chance to see that movie.
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Little Miss Chaos [15 Jul 2015|10:49pm]
[ mood | creative ]

Title: Little Miss Chaos
Characters: Sadira, Kai, Uru, Selene
Rated: PG-13 (language)

Kai and Uru crossed the street to their favorite bar. Entering and looking around for some fun tonight, Kai frowned as his vision caught sight of her. Giving his friend a small nudge on the arm to get his attention, he inched closer to Uru. "Well, look who it is. Little Miss Chaos and her friend." Kai was of course referring to Sadira and her friend, Selene. Though he got quite along well with the latter, he and Sadira were a whole different story. Throughout the years that they've known each other, she seemed to derive pleasure from making his life miserable. That was why he nicknamed her Little Miss Chaos.

Uru rolled his eyes and shrugged. He was starting to get frustrated with this situation. "I'm going to put you and Sadira into a room so you can solve your..." he stopped, trying to decide whether or not he should just complete the sentence. Kai looked at him, tilting his head to the side and raising an eyebrow, "Solve our what?" he asked. Finally decided, Uru blurted the words out, "Your sexual frustrations, that's what." He looked at Kai, shock plastered on his face. "Why would you even say that?! There is no sexual frustration or whatever the hell you're trying to insinuate. There's nothing between us." Glaring at his friend, he walked past him and towards the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools.

Uru came up beside him, sitting on the stool next to Kai. "Look Kai, just admit it. You have the hots for her. I mean, sure she's a pain in the ass sometimes, but that's just how you like it. You want her and I'm sure as hell that she wants you too." Kai sat there quietly trying to make sense of what his friend was saying. As much as he hated to admit it, Uru was right. He did want Sadira. She was everything he desired in a woman: beauty, intelligence, a good sense of humor and that bitchy attitude. A woman like her would know how to treat him and how to love him. She would know exactly what to do to him.

His body tensed as the sudden images of her beautiful naked body under his flashed in his head. 'The things I would do to you,' he said to himself. Kai was so entranced by his thoughts that he failed to hear everything Uru was saying. "Hey Kai, wake up!" Uru punched him playfully on the arm. "Having dirty thoughts about Little Miss Chaos?" he chuckled. Kai sighed and looked down at his drink. "You're right, Uru. I guess the only reason I keep treating her this way is because I'm fighting with my feelings for her. I want her, but I'm afraid that I won't be good enough for her."

Uru frowned and looked at his friend. He knew that what Kai was saying was complete bullshit. "Stop fucking around and ask her out already. You're not a bad guy, no matter how much of a tryhard badass you make out to be." he chuckled.

Kai smirked and let out a chuckle. Uru was right. He was a good guy deep down inside. Feeling confident, he decided to give it a go. "You're right again, Uru. I'm gonna ask Sadira out and make her the happiest woman in this god damned world." Kai brought the glass up to his lips and gulped down his drink. He set the glass back onto the counter, stood up and started walking towards the table where Sadira and Selene were seated at. Uru watched him and shook his head slowly, laughing to himself, "This is going to be an interesting night."

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O86. [13 Jul 2015|10:44pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

 So um, I had a bad day. It all started over a lousy cable and dad kicking my bunny's cage with my bunny inside. I mean, I know it's annoying when the rabbit eats through the cables, but it's not like they know better. There was absolutely no reason to do what he did. It is disgusting. He doesn't care about anything but himself. If I did that to his fish, I would have been dead. But yeah, whatever. I'm just so done. I just decided to not listen to whatever he was saying. It makes things easier.

I worked out my anger on the treadmill. I didn't even bother speaking to him. There's a lot of stuff that I will never forgive him for. This was just another one to that list.
Anyways, on Thursday my friend is going to cut my hair. I wanted to let it grow longer but I just can't take it. I want a change. I want to just wash my hair and not worry about fixing it. Or just picking it up in a ponytail and move on. I can also manage it easier when I want to flatiron it. 
I'm supposed to get my new keyboard tomorrow for the laptop. I hope that fixes the issues that it's having, if not, well fuck. But I'm hoping for the best. Also, my Tokyo Ghoul wallscroll is supposed to arrive tomorrow as well...hopefully.
Well, I should take a nice hot shower and pretend to go to bed and just listen to music. I just want everything to exit my thoughts. Everything negative to just leave me alone.
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Missing [11 Jul 2015|09:49pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Evanescence - Missing ]

Title: Missing
Characters: Sadira & Kai
Note: Completely fictional and original characters. Story based on actual feelings.

Sadira stands on the rooftop and looks down at the city below. So many lights brighten up the night. She can see people still walking along the streets, lovers passing by holding hands and laughing. Her heart aches, the sadness evident on her face. She missed him. She missed the man who had stolen her heart at the tender age of 16.

A faint smile spreads across her lips as she remembered those days with her beloved Kai. Her stomach turned into knots the first time she had seen him. He was tall with long black hair and dark eyes. He was the 'bad boy' type, his body covered in tattoos and piercings. She always saw him as a walking canvas. His attitude was that of a jokester, but even though he was a reckless troublemaker, he was always kind to her. He would always be there for her when she needed him, always made her laugh when she needed a pick-me-up. She thought they would always remain together, yet fate had a different plan.

Sadira sat at the ledge of the building, looking up at the star-filled night-sky. Her and Kai would come up here to look at the stars. They would lay there without speaking a word, their bodies doing all of the talking for them. She bit her lower lip and felt her face flush as she remembered those moments. Kai had made feel safe, he made her feel whole.

She stood up to leave when she heard a faint noise. Looking around trying to find the source of the sound, she could see nothing but darkness. "It must me my imagination" she said to herself. Suddenly, the silhouette of a person comes into sight. They were tall and slender, and they were walking towards her.

Sadira tensed, her body not wanting to budge from where it stood. As the figure comes into sight, her heart pounds faster in her chest. She couldn't do much to conceal the smile on her face. It was him and he looked as beautiful as ever. "Do you miss me as much as I've missed you?" His voice was the same as she'd remembered: calm and soothing. She tries to speak but nothing comes out. Instead, she stands there silently watching as Kai comes closer to her. "So did you?" he asks again, the ever so present smirk on his lips. He looks into her eyes, patiently awaiting an answer. All Sadira could do was nod a yes to him.

Kai stands in front of her, his warm breathe on her skin. He slowly wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to his body. She gives in easily, laying her head on his chest. He lowers his head and kisses her forehead, whispering softly to her "I love you, Sadira. I've always have and always will."

She smiles and looks up at him, standing on her tippy-toes to place a soft kiss on his lips, "So do I."

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First Sight [08 Jul 2015|12:40am]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Nonpoint - In The Air Tonight ]

She sits at the table looking through the newspaper while patiently waiting for her drink. Slowly, her gaze moves upwards towards him. He sits alone at the bar, his eyes looking down at his glass, his thoughts lost within the liquid. He looks lonesome, hopeless. He seems to be waiting for someone or something that will never come.

Deep down her heart aches for him. All she can do is watch him and give silent comfort. Her drink arrives. The waitress smiles and says something that falls on deaf ears. She lifts the glass to her lips and takes a sip, the taste is bitter to her mouth. Is it because she is saddened by his presence? She knows not except that she wishes to hold him closely. Suddenly he rises, walking towards the exit. His eyes fall on hers, a half smile on his face as he walks past her.

That night all she could think about was the lonely stranger at the bar. She falls asleep, smiling to herself as she dreams about something she can never have.

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O79. [23 Jun 2015|12:31pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Deftones - Change ]

Terribly sorry for the lack of updates here. Our internet service has been real shit lately. We've been having issues since the 14th of June and these people have the worst customer service now since they switched companies. Hopefully today a technician will come and check the lines (which I doubt). Also, we have no power, yay! The service has been out since 4 pm yesterday and nothing yet. I tried calling them all day yesterday but the call wouldn't get through. I guess they decided to not pick up the phones. They can't be bothered to do much because they hate their job, apparently. It took me an hour in a half to get through to them today. Supposedly they're fixing the problem. I think not. I despise this island and the horrible government we have.

Anyways, about to eat lunch I guess. Not sure what to cook yet. But I have to eat something or else I'm going to feel sick since my glucose levels have been spiking low lately. Doctor said I should eat 6 times a day: 3 meals and 3 snacks. I'm trying but I can't eat if I'm not hungry. Yesterday I had a nutella frozen yogurt and I was sick afterwards. I'm not sure what happened, but I was throwing up most of the afternoon thanks to that. At least I felt a lot better in the evening and was able to do my exercises without a problem.

Yesterday I received my three subscription boxes! I got from Loot Crate, 1Up Box and Kawaii Box. The Loot Crate and 1Up box had great goodies. I wasn't signed up for Loot Crate, however I did win one box from Dlive's charity stream. I don't really like Loot Crate since the stuff that comes in the boxes don't interest me. This box was amazing though. I may consider subscribing sometime later. The only box that was a little disappointing was the Kawaii Box. I don't think it's worth the price for what comes inside. Lots of cute things, but they can be bought elsewhere for cheaper. I did order a second box though and I hope it was just a bad month for them. I hope...I made a reviews blog where I will try to review stuff from now on. I am no expert at writing a beautiful, amazing review but I will give my honest opinion on stuff and put up pictures. You can find my new blog here.

I guess I'll post up pictures from my past 1Up Boxes since I got the stuff together and took some photos of them (by some I mean a lot). This way you guys can get an idea of what awesome goodies come in them each month.

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Review: Loot Crate - June 2015 [22 Jun 2015|11:08pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Here is my review for the June 2015 Loot Crate box. I believe the theme was Cyber. A lot of awesome goodies in this box. When I first subscribed to Loot Crate about a year ago, it wasn't too good so I unsubbed. However, I haven't subscribed again. This  box was actually a gift from Dlive22891 (the YouTuber) during his Charity livestream for St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Those who donated to the cause would be entered for a giveaway and I actually won (I never win anything). Anyways, I'm not sure if I will subscribe to this box again. The price for Loot Crate is $19.95/month. By the way, I am terribly sorry for the awful pictures. I took them at night with a not so good camera. However, I will take better ones next time.

click to read more )
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Reviews: Kawaii Box - May 2015 [22 Jun 2015|06:11pm]
[ mood | calm ]
[ music | Slipknot - Killpop ]

Here is my review for the May Kawaii Box (even though I received it today, I swore it was the June box). This is my first time reviewing anything, so I hope you find this useful. I'm going to be completely honest about this box. It's cute (obviously, kawaii) and the items inside are super adorable and I will probably keep them, although some of them I may give away or sell since I don't really use stationary items. However, this box could be a lot better for the price of $18.90/month. I was a little disappointed, but I will give it another go and signed up for a second box. Hopefully, it will be better. Anyways, here are the stuff inside this little box.

click here for more! )
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O8O. [15 Jun 2015|11:09pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | Ciara - Dance Like We're Makin' Love ]

I spent the whole morning fixing my laptop. It had so many spyware/adware/malware that I was shocked. I have no idea how all of that junk got into my PC, maybe the guy who fixed it downloaded crap. But I fixed it and it's working fine. I also cleaned up dad's laptop and updated his drivers, so it's working a lot better too.

We had two cats hanging out in our backyard today. It seemed to be a mother cat with her baby kitten. They were laying about in some of dad's PVC pipes, chilling in the shade. I put a bowl of cold water and fed them some tuna. I think they were very happy. Hopefully they'll come by tomorrow again. I'll get some cat food and put it away for them when they decide to visit. I wish I could keep them, but I have too many pets to care for at the moment. Plus, dad would kill me.

I worked out for 40 minutes tonight while watching Ghost Adventures on Hulu Plus. I don't understand why people hate Hulu. I like it. The commercials are very short compared to what you see on television, so there's no need to complain. I like it a lot more than Netflix. It has more stuff on it plus a ton of anime.

I'm quite tired tonight so I'll go to bed early. I really want to finish watching The First 48 but I am falling asleep. I completely forgot what I was going to do now...I have such a horrible short-term memory!

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O81. [15 Jun 2015|11:00pm]
[ mood | happy ]
[ music | Evol - We Are Different ]

Today I went out with dad. We bought a few things at the hardware store. He bought me a blender! I'm so happy because I've always wanted one. Now I can make smoothies and stuff. He also got me heavy duty carpets for my SUV so the original ones don't get dirty. After that we got frozen yogurt then came home. I worked out for 30 minutes today since the previous day I had done 60 minutes. I really hope I'm making progress. I feel great about myself (emotionally and mentally). I'll be upset though if my weight hasn't changed much.

I got my laptop back but I doubt I'll be able to play Smite anymore. I need to get a better cooling pad for it. I'll buy it soon. Then when I start working I can get a better PC.

Anyways, nothing much has happened. Washed my hair and now I'm watching Investigation Discovery. They have some shows on Ted Bundy. It may sound weird, but I like stuff about true crimes. Anything to do with psychology or psychiatry are my favorite things. And paranormal subjects as well.

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O82. [15 Jun 2015|10:54pm]
[ mood | good ]
[ music | Kamelot - Insomnia ]

Today was my graduation from UMET but I didn't go. It was at 8 am in San Juan. We had to be there at around 7:30 am which would be impossible...So instead dad took me to Sizzler's for dinner. We had the buffet plus ordered a side dish of shrimps. They were pretty good. I wish they had a wider variety in the buffet though. They always have the same menu, which gets boring. But we had a good time and we couldn't even breathe or move afterwards. I didn't really eat much to be honest. However, I had 2 large glasses of iced tea which is fine, I've been drinking plenty of water, no juice and definitely no soda. After I got home, I waited 2 hours and did 40 minutes of exercise. Feeling great.

Yesterday I got to hang out with Allison. We went to the movies to watch Insidious Chapter 3. It was a cool movie with plenty of jump scares and disturbing images. I never watched Insidious Chapter 2, so I have to see that one soon. I really want to go see Jurassic World. I hope it's a good one. Also can't wait to see Sinister 2. Now that movie is amazing.

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O83. [07 Jun 2015|10:26pm]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | FKA Twigs - Two Weeks ]

 Thankfully, last night I was able to rest well. I did wake up early but stayed in bed because of laziness. When I finally decided to get up, it was about 12  pm. I had some Pillsbury pancakes then took a cold shower, which didn't really help much. It's been so hot and humid these days. Even now that it's 10 pm it's hot and I'm just all sweaty. I wish I could stay in the shower.

I did 40 minutes of exercise today on the treadmill. Plus I did 40 situps since they seem to be helping. Also lifted some weights for arm toning. I felt great afterwards even though I did feel kind of tired today. Could be the weather and just because Sundays are boring in general.
Haven't done much today. I did paint my nails purple tonight. I also filed them down since they were too long. I'll go to bed soon...not really tired but I want to get some rest.
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